A Collection of Klaine Oneshots
by Emily Colfer-Criss
Summary: Collection of Klaine oneshots. Fluff, smut, angst... Rated M for possible later chapters.
1. Chapter 1 Cute As A Cupcake

_**A/N: well, this is a prompt from my auntie, who when I asked "What should I base my first Klaine oneshot on?" her first initial reply was "they discover women."**_

_**Anywhoooo, I am currently at my friend's house, in her bed, while she's at the opticians. (I slept over, and since she's more like a sister and I know her parents really well, I can steal her bed- muhahaha!)**_

_**Enjoy! *blows kiss and starts skipping around throwing rose petals***_

* * *

"What are you doing?" Blaine asked as he entered the kitchen.

"Baking," Kurt replied simply.

Biting back a laugh , Blaine looked at the clock. It read 2:48am.

"At almost 3 in the morning?" Blaine smiled, "That's kinda early, don't ya think?"

Kurt slammed down his K-beater and whipped around to face his husband.

"Well, I'm stress-baking, okay?"

Blaine raised a triangular eyebrow, "Stress baking?"

Kurt was frantically whisking butter and sugar together, looking nervous.

As he looked around the kitchen, the curly-haired man could see how 'stressed' Kurt was.

Cupcakes were EVERYWHERE! On plates, in the oven, just sitting on the side. They sure looked nice.

"Honey," Blaine murmured as he wrapped his arms around Kurt's waist, gently kissing his neck, "I've known your for almost 10 years, I didn't know that you stress baked. What are you stressed about, baby? Maybe I can help?"

Kurt was still for a moment before turning so that he was facing Blaine, burying his face in the latter's neck.

"My job," he groaned.

Blaine nodded sympathetically, "Yeah, been there. What is it about your job you're stressed about?"

Kurt fiddled with Blaine's shirt, "Lots of stuff, really."

The former Warbler smirked, "Well, you know, there's always something that I can do to help relieve stress..."

Kurt smirked back, but before Blaine could lean in to kiss him as he intended, the brunette man grabbed a cupcake and shoved it, (icing-side up) into his husband's nose.

Blaine gasped, but couldn't help smiling.

"Oh, you are SO on!" he cried, grabbing more cupcakes and smearing icing over Kurt's face.

They continued this for about 10 minutes, until Kurt tripped over a cupcake that had fallen to the floor, landing in Blaine's arms.

Stating straight into his eyes, Kurt whispered, "Hey."

"Hey," Blaine replied, kissing his husband's nose.

"You know," Kurt said teasingly, "you never fully explained what your idea to relieve stress was."

* * *

**_A/N: hope you liked that!_**

**_See that 'Review' button? I'd tap that, and write what you thought_**

**_Love,_**

**_Emily xo_**

**_REVIEWS= more Klaine fanfics!_**


	2. Chapter 2 What I've Been Looking For

_**A/N: still at my friend's house, guys. This oneshot was her idea, as we were designing a house on SketchIt last night and listening to endless musical soundtracks, and then, well, the HSM one came on.**_

_**Enjoy!**_

* * *

"No."

"But, Kurt!"

Kurt sighed. Sometimes he wished his boyfriend was obsessed with fashion or... Marlon Brando! Something normal! Not acting like a five year old.

"Blaine, there is no way I am going to see a sing-a-long screening of High School Musical. What are you, five?"

"Five and three quarters, actually!" Blaine laughed, "Come ON, Kurt!"

"No."

"Aw, come on. Get 'cha head in the game, babe! We can bop to the top! We can stick the status quo! We can break free! We can-"

Kurt was trying not to laugh, "Blaine, seriously. Can't we stay in? I'm sure the DVD store will have it to rent!"

Blaine pouted, "But I wanna see it on the big screen! Tell me you'd rather do that than watch on a boring old TV."

"Well, gosh, Blaine, now I know exactly who to come to if I want to sit in a sticky, sweaty movie theatre filled with annoying eright year olds for 3 hours."

Blaine sighed, seeing there was no easy way around this, "You went to see the Rocky Horror Show at the movies! That was far worse than this is gonna be."

Kurt sighed harder, rubbing his temple, "Yes, but I like that movie!"

"Please, baby?"

"No."

"I'll buy the tickets!"

"No."

"I'll buy popcorn!"

"NO!"

"We can make out in the car afterwards!"

"Blaine, for the love of-"

"I'll buy you that new Marc Jacobs sweater!"

"So where can we buy tickets?"

* * *

_**A/N: I don't even know with that one. But I now have Gotta Go My Own Way from High School Musical 2 stuck in my head, and my friend's dog has joined me.**_

_**Love,**_

_**Emily xo**_

_**Reviews make my heart go weak, like super weak!**_


	3. Chapter 3 What's My Name?

_**A/N: writing while watching SpongeBob with my friend... Too cool, Emily, too cool. I realised that if everyone had SpongeBob's optimism, the world would be a happier place!**_

_**Since I've wrote 3 oneshots today, maybe I'll have written loads before Tuesday. I'm in my school's iPad band (again, too cool) and we're performing then, so miiiiight write in the bus ride or backstage or whatever**_

_**Enjoy!**__**  
**_

* * *

"What about Adelaide?"

"Kurt, really?"

"What?"

"Every one of the names you choose is from a musical!"

"Well, she's my kitten too! Not like I even want her."

"Kurt!"

"Okay, fine! What about Buttercup?"

"That's from a movie."

"Sugar?"

"Movie."

"Aurora."

"Mooooovie!"

"Fine! You pick a name then, I don't even care anymore."

"Hermione."

"I hate you."

"Love you too."

* * *

_**A/N: this is what happens when Emily decides to write a fanfic using only speech. Basically they're trying to name a kitten that Kurt so doesn't want. LE FAIL!**__**Review and tell me how crap it was! *thumbs up***_

_**Love,**_

_**Emily xo**_


	4. Chapter 4 This Used To Be A Funhouse

_**A/N: fourth oneshot today! I am on a roll, BOOM!**_

_**Watching Saturday Night Glee-Ver with my friend... omg Blaine, you're so sexy it hurts!**_

_**But I've seen this episode about 100 times so I can write at the same time!**_

_**Enjoy!**__**  
**_

* * *

Kurt had come to the conclusion that Blaine was a child in a teenager's body.

Kurt had suffered many childish tortures, such as Disney movie marathons, High School Musical sing-a-longs and endless hours of Hannah Montana.

But this? This was just insane. Jury was in HIGH SCHOOL. He should be... Oh I don't know, studying. Not at a fair.

Blaine seemed thrilled to be here. It was bright, colourful, cheery. Just the way he liked things.

This fair was the kind with candyfloss stalls, rides, hook-a-duck, you name it!

"Blaine," Kurt grumbled, pulling in his boyfriend's hand, "can we please go somewhere else? I'd rather watch Tangled than be here."

"Kurt, c'mon, where's your sense if adventure?" Blaine laughed, happily dragging Kurt to a candyfloss stall and ordering two: "One for me and one for Scrooge over here."

Kurt didn't complain as he liked candyfloss, but once they left the stall holding the sticky pink fluff, he was back to killjoy mode.

"Look, Blaine, this is cute that you like this stuff, but-"

"OH MY GOD, KURT! Look at that rollercoaster! Please can we go on? Pleeeeease?"

Kurt looked up at the ride that caused Blaine to practically have an orgasm over.

A very large rollercoaster loomed above him. It was the kind that went up really high, then dropped down really fast. To follow, there was upside-down loop-the-loops and sharp turns.

"Hell no."

"Yes, we are! C'mon, I'll pay for the tickets."

Kurt shook his head, heart thumping, "No, please Blaine. I don't want to, really."

Blaine looked at Kurt, his expression softening, "Oh honey, are you scared?"

Kurt blushed slightly, but nodded, "I just... Readily hate rollercoasters. It's stupid, I know."

"I think it's adorable. I think you're adorable."

"Oh, hush, you."

Blaine smiled, lacing his fingers with Kurt's, "Okay, baby. We won't go on. What would you like to do?"

Kurt smiled, "A bubble bath would be nice."

"Then a bubble bath you shall have," Blaine smiled.

"Honey, I was kidding."

"I know. But you deserve one. You're so perfect. The perfect boyfriend for putting up with my childish ways. I love you, Kurt."

Kurt's eyes welled up, "Love you too."

* * *

_**A/N: don't ask.**_


	5. Chapter 5 Pretty Risqué Material

_**A/N: Enjoy!**_

* * *

Kurt Hummel and Blaine Anderson lived a happy life. They had a gorgeous apartment, wonderful careers and a beautiful 12 year old daughter, Melanie.

One lazy Sunday afternoon, the three of them were relaxing in the living room. Kurt and Blaine were curled up on the sofa together, reading individual books, and Melanie was on the floor, leaning against their legs, finishing her designs for Textiles homework.

It was calm, peaceful, and perfect.

"Finished!" Melanie smiled after a few minutes.

Kurt put down his book and peeked at the drawings of dresses. "Honey, they're fabulous!" he smiled, "What would you like to do now?"

Melanie paused for a moment, then grinned.

"Can we watch a musical?"

Blaine's reaction was instantaneous. He jumped up and ran to the shelf where they kept all the musicals.

"Which one?" he asked over his shoulder.

"One I haven't seen before!" Melanie cried, getting excited.

Blaine leafed through them, calling out titles he thought she hadn't seen.

"Evita?"

"Seen it," Melanie replied.

"High Society?"

"Seen it."

"Oklahoma!"

"I loved that one. Seen it!"

"West Side Story?"

"Seriously? Of course I've seen it!"

Blaine chuckled, "Okay, okay! What about Rocky Horror?"

Melanie's eyes lit up. "Oh I haven't seen that!" she squealed, jumping up.

Kurt's perfectly plucked eyebrows knitted together. "And you're not going to!"

"Why?" Blaine and Melanie simultaneously yelled.

"Blaine, it's too risqué!" Kurt insisted.

"Oh, come on! Pleeeeease?" Blaine cooed, giving Kurt those damn puppy dog eyes.

The countertenor tried to resist, he really did! But those eyes... Nuh uh.

In the end, they curled up on the sofa and watched Rocky Horror together, as a happy family.

* * *

_**A/N: I don't know with that ending. Review?**_


	6. Chapter 6 I'll Take Care Of You

_**A/N: I'm home alone and bored.**_

_**Enjoy!**_

* * *

Blaine was woken in the middle of the night by loud coughing coming from his left.

"Kurt?" he mumbled sleepily, "You okay?"

Kurt turned to face him, covering his mouth and letting out a short whimper.

"Oh, sweetheart," Blaine cooed, scooping Kurt into his arms.

"Don't," Kurt murmured, "I'm sick, you'll catch it."

Blaine just smiled, wrapping his arms around the sick man protectively. "And miss a chance to act upon my duties as cuddle whore? No way."

Kurt chuckled quietly, then let out a little moan of pain.

"Oh, darling," Blaine soothed, pushing Kurt's loose bangs out of his eyes. "Do you want some medicine, or...?"

"Yes, please," Kurt whimpered, curling into himself as Blaine slowly stood up.

Checking Kurt's temperature, he found it burning hot. "Sweetheart, you're boiling," he diagnosed, removing the back of his hand from Kurt's forehead."

B-but I'm so cold," Kurt whimpered, looking a little green.

Blaine bit his lip. "Yeah, you're sick. Be right back."

The curly haired man rushed unto the main bathroom of their apartment, looking for medicine. Finding some, he came back to the bedroom to find Kurt throwing up in their en-suite bathroom's toilet.

Sighing sympathetically, Blaine crouched down beside his fiancé, rubbing his back gently.

After Kurt had finished vomiting, he looked up at Blaine with a pained eyes and a tear-streaked face.

"Will you take care of me?"

Blaine smiled. "Always."


	7. Chapter 7 Shop Till You Drop

_**A/N: this is plotless. **_

_**Enjoy!**_

* * *

Blaine hated shopping.

Well, he hated shopping with other people. He could vaguely remember the torturous 5 hour shopping trips around the Westerville mall with him mom and two sisters when he was a teenager. Those were actually bearable.

Shopping with Kurt was worse though. Not that he didn't like spending time with his boyfriend, except that Kurt was really, really, really serious about shopping. Trips lasting no less than 8 hours, Kurt would switch to Gok Wan mode the whole time.

Blaine quite liked shopping by himself. He could wander around the music shops, maybe a little cafe for a quiet coffee. And he did that, often. But more often that not, Kurt went with him.

Blaine pondered this now as he trudged around Daffy's on East 18th Street. They'd already been to H&M, window-shopped through Christopher Street and had spent at least three hours in Barneys.

"Kurt, can we please go now? Just pick a pair already!"

Kurt smiled at Blaine's frustration, looking at the label on a pair of right designer jeans. "Patience, my darling."

Blaine sighed, "Can we at least go to FAO Schwartz? I hear they have awesome toy race-cars!"

Kurt stared at Blaine as if he had three heads.

"Blaine!"

"What?"

"You can't just act like a child in one if the best stores in New York City! I have reputation to uphold, here, if you don't mind."

Right on cue, a women with impeccable make-up, wearing the latest designer dress (matched beautifully with designer shoes, scarf, hat and belt) came up to Kurt, smiling. "Hello, Mr Hummel. Do you need any help?"

Kurt smiled smugly at Blaine.

"Yes, actually, thanks. I need a good pair of jeans that are fashionable but not too tight or uncomfortable," Kurt said, holding up a pair that he liked the look of.

Blaine sighed heavily, zoning out as the woman led Kurt to a changing room, where the clothes were tried on and discarded.

After around half an hour, Kurt returned, clutching 2 pairs of jeans.

"Can we go nowwwww?" Blaine whined.

Kurt smiled. "FAO Schwartz?"

Blaine grinned. "FAO Schwartz."


	8. Chapter 8 I Think I Wanna Marry You

_**A/N: Thanks for reviewing and that**_

_**Went to see a musical called Wonderful Town last night... It was better than seeing Wicked when I went to London! Amazing!**_

_**Enjoy!**_

* * *

Blaine swallowed the lump in his throat for the millionth time that evening. God, he was so NERVOUS! Checking the clock, he saw that Kurt was due home any minute.

They'd been living in New York for three years now, and both had jobs in Broadway. Kurt was content with playing Bob Baker in a production of Wonderful Town (Rachel played Ruth Sherwood), while Blaine was perfectly happy playing in the ensemble of Guys And Dolls.

"I'm home!" Kurt called as he entered the front door of the apartment he shared with his amazing boyfriend.

Walking into the living room and seeing candles, rose petals, tissues and a copy of Funny Girl (Kurt's second favourite musical) confused him slightly, but he just smiled and kissed Blaine on the cheek.

"What's all this?"

Blaine took a deep breath, fumbling in his pocket for... God, where was it? Oh!

Finding the little velvet box he wanted, Blaine stood directly in front of His boyfriend as he got down in one knee.

Kurt's eyes widened, "Blaine..."

Blaine looked right into the countertenor's eyes and began;

"Kurt. From the moment I met you I knew that you were the one. Heck, I knew I was in love with you when you sang Blackbird, which is when we weren't even dating. I guess I just... I just LOVE everything about you. I love the way your eyes light up when you're happy. I love the way you sing with so much emotion. I love the way you laugh when something is really funny. I love the way you brush nasty comments and dirty looks away and ignore them, but then let all your emotion out when you feel most vulnerable. I love the way uou call me 'Curlyknob' when my hair is gel-free. I love waking up every morning and seeing your flawless face next to me on the pillow and wondering just how I managed to get a guy this perfect. I love-"

Blaine was cut off by a pair if soft lips crashing against his. He hadn't even seen Kurt fall to his knees, but now they were kissing with more passion than they'd ever had before.

After a while, Blaine pulled away.

"So, is that a yes?"

Kurt's eyes misted slightly, "Yes, Curlyknob."

* * *

_**A/N: although the title really gives it away before you've read it, I hope to enjoyed that! I suck at speeches, so I just wrote the whole 'I love you' thing. Was sooooo tempted to write "I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you!" like Singin' In The Rain (:**_

_**I'm running out of good ideas, guys, so PLEASE review and give me some ideas! if I can write it, I will! Any prompts you like! (but no Vampire!Kurt, supernatural type stuff though, please)**_

_**Thank you!**_

_**Love,**_

_**Emily xo**_


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